EXCERPTS FROM "A DOUBLE HELPING OF POEMS"

Dogs Love Waffles


Dogs love waffles.
This is because they know waffles mean breakfast, and breakfast means morning
and morning means a new day
and a new day means a new chance to start their life over
My neighbor has a cat named Christopher.
Christopher loves pancakes. 
This is why cats and dogs never get along.
Now, raccoons don’t care what they eat, 
as long as it has maple syrup on it.
This is because a raccoon is basically a dog crossed with a cat.
This is all part of what we call reality. 
It can be overwhelming sometimes
It’s hard to know what’s right and what’s wrong 
and sometimes you’ll make a bad decision.
That’s why dogs love waffles.



Michael the Sewer Rat, Chapter 2


Michael the sewer rat chewed 
through a big bag of clams.
They went everywhere.



Kevin


Kevin is the king of the juice
he wears old sneakers and loves Lynyrd Skynyrd.
He tosses me a football and smiles
His teeth are really nice.
Babies love Kevin because he smells like fruit. 
Whenever he sees a baby 
he slams down a glass of fresh OJ for them
and chuckles like a friendly pirate.
Kevin is a hurricane of high-fives and compliments
He really makes me feel good about myself