EXCERPTS FROM "POEMS FOR A SPECIAL DAY"

Slam Dunk Billy and Me

My friend Slam Dunk Billy is a jazz singer
he can sing the crap out of jazz
It’s all jazz, all the time, with this guy
except when he’s playing Xbox
He’s wicked good at Xbox

When I’m feeling down
I go over to Slam Dunk Billy’s house
and we eat cheese snacks in his finished basement 
and play Xbox
and Slam Dunk Billy will sing the jazz to me
soft and sweet
At times like that
I’m so happy that I could cry
and I do
I cry all over the place
I cry into the cheese snacks
I cry on the Xbox controller
I cry so hard that my shirt feels like a nasty old paper bag
full of wet napkins

but I’m happy
because I’m alive
and the Xbox is humming
and the cheese snacks are salty
and Slam Dunk Billy 
is singing me the jazz



Get Really Into Dogs

Make a career out of dogs
I dare you
Learn to fix a wonky tail
or do trampoline barking
Be a professor at a fancy school
Teach dog stuff
Don't let anyone hold you back
You deserve this
Get really into dogs
like, crazy about dogs
Buy a shirt that talks all about dogs
Tell the world you gotta do it
Make a career out of dogs



Michael the Sewer Rat, Chapter 96

Michael the Sewer Rat fell asleep
 while eating
a jar
of
really
old
mayonnaise